I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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