TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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