3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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