im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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