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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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