i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
