EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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