moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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