you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Be still, my beating vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
