my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
don't judge my taste in strippers
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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