Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
