Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
