My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
