I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I wish there were birth control emojis
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
