For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
