i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
