I wanna bring you to show and tell
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
