I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
