I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm always down for nudity.
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