super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
