By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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