found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
