OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
