I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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