You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
