OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
