I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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