the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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