Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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