Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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