I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
