She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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