Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
