Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
