well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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