its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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