Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize