I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
