i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
