I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
her vagine was all disorganized.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
