we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
