Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Terrible idea I love it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
