I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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