There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
