drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
