Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
