how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
