I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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