sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize