Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
vagina is talking i cant
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
