Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
