you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
