i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
