Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
