I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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