don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
