Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
